Being suicidal is strange, I don’t really think I’m suicidal but in the past the doctor gave me that label when I felt like this. So I guess I’m suicidal.
It’s not scary, it’s more of an inconvenience… well if I’m not going to act on it anyway. These thoughts take up too much time in my brain. I don’t want to be around people, yet have to be around people to prevent myself from doing anything stupid. It’s also really awkward when people talk about the future.