My counsellor today asked about suicidal thoughts, I didn’t say much on the topic. I just don’t know how to talk about it, some of my thoughts are just fucked up.
The other day I was on the 5th floor of a building and there was a window and my brain was like I could totally just climb out that. Other times I just want to try take all my pills, and other times all I think is I want to die. One time i was thinking about suicide and decided it would be too sad because my childhood best friend was traveling on the other side of the world so couldn’t go to my funeral.
I know I should talk to make sense of it all, but it’s just so weird to talk about.