My head is a mess

I’m not I a very good headspace, I’m really confused, I’m just really over getting disappointed. I don’t know what to care about, I don’t want to care about anything, but I have to. Half of me wants to move away, half of me really wants to stay, I’m getting sick of so many people here, but I feel like I am almost settled here. I don’t know if I can even control where I’m going to be. I don’t know where to go for help, who to ask. I tried in the past and just got nowhere. 

People suck. 

Why does life just shit on some people? Some people hardly get shat on, but they react so badly the occasional time they do. Don’t say God, God is the year round version of Santa. I wish Santa was real. Life was so exciting as a child. 

Life is just a constant disappointment.