Everyone says “you might need to try a few different medications”, a “few different counsellors”. You understand that funding can affect how much a professional can help you, that medications take a while to work. When I decided to ask for help, to go on medication, I decided I was going to do it properly. I was going to try different people, multiple medications if I had to.
The thing is I knew some people sucked at their jobs, but I really just had no comprehension of the extent that they would suck. Having a limited number of counselling sessions, but they “are flexible if they need to be”. Yet when I reached my last session and said I had self-harmed there was no extension, I was not even referred somewhere else that could be beneficial, just bye.
I didn’t realise that professionals always seem to want to know the intimate details of your suicidal thoughts and like to know exactly how you hurt yourself. The like to say they need to know to be able to ensure you are safe, yet when you show up next time you try to talk about how you feel like there is no way out and they couldn’t care less.
Counsellors can leave you feeling worse than when you showed up and put it down to ït was just a bad fit”.
Doctors will be reluctant to change your medication because they are scared you are too mentally unstable to be taken off the antidepressant that isn’t even working.
No one tells you that when you miss your appointment, no one cares, they just charge you the fee, don’t even check to see if you’re alive first.
Anyway, this has been a bit of a downer post, but I just needed to vent.